He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends.
Parallel Translations
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He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends.
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He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
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He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that harpeth on a matter estrangeth a familiar friend.
Cross-references (4)
Passages linked to Proverbs 17:9 in the Treasury of Scripture Knowledge, ordered by reader-vote popularity; verse text shown in World English Bible.
- Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all wrongs.
- 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things be earnest in your love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins.
- Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man stirs up strife. A whisperer separates close friends.
- Psalms 32:1 Blessed is he whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Cross-references from openbible.info (CC BY 4.0)
Explain this verse (19 sources)
Historical commentary, presented as a primary source — not an endorsement.
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Geneva Bible translators 1599 · Public Domain He that admonisheth the prince of his fault, maketh…
He that admonisheth the prince of his fault, maketh him his enemy.
Geneva Bible (1599) marginal notes — public domain.
John Trapp 1656 · Public Domain Pro 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love;…
Pro 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.
Ver. 9. He that covereth a transgression, seeketh love.] In friendship, faults will happen. These must be many of them dissembled, and not chewed but swallowed down whole as medicine pills, for else they will stick in a man’s teeth and prove very unpleasant. {See Trapp on "Pro 10:12"}
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But he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.] He that is so soft and sensible of smallest offences, so tender and ticklish that he can put up nothing without revenge or reparation - he that rips up and rakes into his friends’ frailties, and makes them more in the relating, having never done with them, he shall soon make his best friends weary of him, nay, to become enemies to him.
John Trapp, A Commentary or Exposition upon All the Books of the Old and New Testament (1647–1656) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
Matthew Poole 1685 · Public Domain That covereth a transgression; that concealeth, as far as…
That covereth a transgression; that concealeth, as far as he may, other men’s faults against himself, or against their friends.
Seeketh, i.e. findeth or obtaineth, as this word is used here below, Pro 17:19; 11:27.
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Love; either
1. To himself. Or rather,
2. To the transgressor or offending friend; he maintains love among friends, as it may be explained from the opposite clause.
That repeateth; that publisheth and spreadeth it abroad; that recalls it to mind after it was past and forgotten.
A matter; or, the matter last mentioned, to wit, the transgression.
Separateth very friends; either,
1. He alienateth his friend from himself. Or rather,
2. He raiseth jealousies and dissensions among friends. This phrase we had before, Pro 16:28.
Matthew Poole's English Annotations on the Holy Bible (1683–1685) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.
Matthew Henry 1710 · Public Domain Note, 1. The way to preserve peace among relations…
Note, 1. The way to preserve peace among relations and neighbours is to make the best of every thing, not to tell others what has been said or done against them when it is not at all necessary to their safety, nor to take notice of what has been said or done against them when it is not at all necessary to their safety, nor to take notice of what has been said or done against ourselves, but to excuse both, and put the best construction upon them. "It was an oversight; therefore overlook it. It was done through forgetfulness; therefore forget it. It perhaps made nothing of you; do you make nothing of it." 2. The ripping up of faults is the ripping out of love, and nothing tends more to the separating of friends, and setting them at variance, than the repeating of matters that have been in variance; for they commonly lose nothing in the repetition, but the things themselves are aggravated and the passions about them revived and exasperated. The best method of peace is by an amnesty or act of oblivion.
Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (1708–1710) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.
John Gill 1763 · Public Domain He that covereth a transgression seeketh love,.... He that…
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love,.... He that hides the transgression of another, or of his friend, committed against himself or against another, which he is privy to; but the matter being made up, and the offence forgiven, he forgets it, and no more speaks of it to his friend, or upbraids him with it, nor spreads it among others: such a man shows that he loves his friend, and is desirous that love and friendship should be continued; and this is the way to continue it; and a man that thus seeks it finds it. Or it may be rendered, "he covereth a transgression who seeketh love" (i); for "love covereth all things", Pro 10:12;
but he that repeateth a matter; the matter of the transgression, the thing that has given the offence; that rakes it up again, when it has been covered; upbraids his friend with it, when it has been passed over and forgiven; will frequently hit him on the teeth with it, and talk of it wherever he comes, and spread the knowledge of it in all places: he
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separateth very friends; he sets the best of friends at variance one with another by such a practice; for this pursued, friendship cannot subsist long among men: he separates his best friend from himself, and himself from him. The word signifies a prince, leader, or governor; See Gill on Pro 16:28; and Jarchi interprets it thus;
"he separates from himself the Governor of the world, the holy blessed God.''
(i) So Cocceius.
John Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible (1746–1763) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.
John Wesley 1765 · Public Domain Covereth - That conceals as far as he may,…
Covereth - That conceals as far as he may, other mens faults.
John Wesley, Explanatory Notes Upon the Whole Bible (1754–1765) — public domain. Text via the GEBible commentary corpus.
Joseph Benson 1811 · Public Domain Pro 17:9. He that covereth a transgression — That…
Pro 17:9. He that covereth a transgression — That passes by and buries in oblivion a transgression that hath been committed against himself; or that concealeth, as far as he may, other men’s faults against their friends or neighbours; seeketh love — Takes the best course to preserve friendships and to make himself universally beloved; but he that repeateth a matter — Who rakes up that fault again, and objects it afresh when it was forgotten; or that publishes and spreads it abroad; separateth very friends — Breaks the strictest bonds of amity, and makes an irreconcileable separation.
Joseph Benson's Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1811–1818) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
Albert Barnes 1834 · Public Domain Seeketh love - i. e., Takes the course which…
Seeketh love - i. e., Takes the course which leads to his gaining it.
He that repeateth a matter - The warning is directed against that which leads a man to dwell with irritating iteration on a past offence instead of burying it in oblivion.
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Separateth very friends - Better, alienateth his chief friend. The tale-bearer works injury to himself.
Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible (1834–1885) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword/MySword module.
Charles Bridges 1846 · Public Domain Seeketh love! A beautiful expression, much to be kept…
Seeketh love! A beautiful expression, much to be kept in mind! It shews a delight in the atmosphere of love — man’s highest elevation in communion with his God. (1Jn 4:16 .) It implies not the mere exercise of love, where it is presented, but the searching and making opportunity for it. But how seldom do we rise to the high standard of this primary grace, exalted as it is pre-eminently above "the best gifts" (1Co 12:31 ; 1Co 13:1-13 .); and illustrated and enforced by no less than the Divine example! (Eph 5:1-2 .) Yet too often it sits at the door of our lips, instead of finding a home in our hearts; forgetting that the exhortation is not, that we should talk of love, but that we should "walk in it;" not stepping over it, crossing it, walking by the side, but "in it," as our highway and course. One step of our feet is better than an hundred words of the tongue.
A forbearing spirit is a fine manifestation of this heavenly grace. Our motives are often misconstrued. We meet in a world of selfishness, cold reserve, instead of glowing confidence. Prejudice builds a wall against Christian intercourse. Wounded pride would return unkindness with contempt. Resentment stirs up recrimination. Disappointment kindles morbid suspicion. Here is a noble field for Christian victory; instead of resenting, to cover the transgression with a mantle of love (Pro 10:12 . 1Co 13:7 . Gr.†1); with that act of amnesty, by which we are saved — the most aggravated transgression, the most unprovoked injuries, being covered in eternal forgetfulness. (Heb 8:12 .)
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The repeating a matter has often separated friends by uncovering a forgotten quarrel. (Pro 16:28 .) Mischief might not be intended. But to amuse ourselves with the follies or weakness of our brethren, is sinful trifling, fraught with injury. Justly are "tattlers and busy-bodies" described as "speaking things which they ought not." (1Ti 5:13 .) A disciplined tongue is a gracious mercy to the Church.
Footnotes:
†1 1Co 13:7 . {1} beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. {1) Or covereth; Compare 1Pe 4:8 }
(panta stegei panta pisteuei panta elpizei panta upomenei)
"Stegei" "Beareth" From 4721; to roof over, that is, (figuratively) to cover with silence (endure patiently): - (for-) bear, suffer.
Charles Bridges, An Exposition of the Book of Proverbs (1846) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
Haydock's Catholic Bible Commentary 1859 · Public Domain Friends. Detractors cause dissensions, and even wars.
Friends. Detractors cause dissensions, and even wars.
George Leo Haydock (1774–1849), Haydock's Catholic Family Bible and Commentary, 1859 edition — public domain. Excludes Psalms (Douay-Rheims chapter numbering differs from Protestant) and Deuterocanonical books (Catholic canon only).
Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset & David Brown 1871 · Public Domain seeketh love--(Compare Margin). The contrast is between the peace-maker…
seeketh love--(Compare Margin). The contrast is between the peace-maker and tale-bearer.
Jamieson, Fausset & Brown — Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (1871) — public domain (CC PDM 1.0). Text via the HelloAO Bible API.
Daniel D. Whedon 1874 · Public Domain 9. Seeketh love — That is, in effect. Some…
9. Seeketh love — That is, in effect. Some say, seeks to exercise love to others.
Repeateth a matter — Or, reporteth what he ought to have kept to himself. Compare Pro_16:28.
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Separateth very friends — The same word, אלו, (alluph,) as is rendered “chief friends” in Pro_16:28. It is perhaps to be here regarded as a use of the abstract noun for the concrete noun. The exact force of the expression is about this — causes a breach of friendship or intimacy. He causes persons to break off friendship with himself. On “covering transgression,” see on Pro_10:12. Some understand it thus: Frequently reiterating old complaints, or “repeating an offence,” (Miller,) separates friends; or, the noun being singular, a friend — that is, from himself.
Daniel D. Whedon (gen. ed.), Commentary on the Old and New Testaments (1874–1909) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges 1878 · Public Domain 9. repeateth] i.e. brings it up again and again,…
9. repeateth] i.e. brings it up again and again, harpeth on it, as R.V. happily renders. Comp. Pro_26:11, “a fool repeateth his folly,” R.V.; “Heb. iterateth his folly,” A.V. marg.
very friends] Rather, chief friends, as the word is rendered, Pro_16:28.
The Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges (gen. ed. J. J. S. Perowne; Cambridge University Press, 1878–1918) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers 1878 · Public Domain (9) He that covereth a transgression seeketh love—i.e., one…
(9) He that covereth a transgression seeketh love—i.e., one who does not notice, but rather conceals and excuses, anything done against him; that man “follows after charity” (1Co_14:1). (Comp. Pro_10:12.)
He that repeateth a matter, who is always returning to old grievances, “alienates (even his) chief friend.”
A Bible Commentary for English Readers, edited by Charles John Ellicott (1878–1897) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
The Pulpit Commentary 1880 · Public Domain He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; i.e. strives…
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; i.e. strives to exercise, put in practice, love. (comp. Zep_2:8 1Co_14:4) Thus Nowack. One who bears patiently and silently, extenuates and conceals, something done or said against him, that man follows after charity, obeys the great law of love. (comp. Pro_10:12) Some explain the clause to mean, "procures love for himself;" but the second member certainly is not personal, therefore it is more natural to take the first in a general sense. He that repeateth (harpeth on) a matter separateth very friends. (Pro_16:28) He who is always dwelling on a grievance, returning to it and bringing it forward on every occasion, alienates the greatest friends, only embitters the injury and makes it chronic. Ecc 19:7, etc., "Rehearse not unto another that which is told unto thee, and thou shalt fare never the worse. Whether it be to friend or foe, talk not of other men"s lives; and if thou canst without offence, reveal them not. For he heard and observed thee, and when time cometh he will hate thee. If thou hast heard a word, let it die with thee; and be bold, it will not burst thee." So the rabbis said: "Abstain from quarrels with thy neighbour; and if thou hast seen something bad of thy friend, let it not pass thy tongue as a slander" (Dukes, The Mosaic Law had led the way to this duty of forbearance: "Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself". (Lev_19:18) Septuagint, "He who concealeth injuries seeketh friendship; but he who hateth to conceal them separateth friends and households.
Friendship; (with Pro_16:28) the silence that saves and the speech that separates it.
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We may learn
I THE GOODLINESS OF FRIENDSHIP. "Very friends," or "chief friends," points to intimate friendship. This is one of the very fairest and worthiest things under the sun. The man to whom God gives a lifelong faithful friendship is rich in a treasure which wealth cannot buy and the excellency of which it does not equal. It should be:
1. Founded on common attachment to the same great principles, and on mutual esteem.
2. Independent of the changes that occur in circumstances and conditions.
3. Strengthened by adversity.
4. Elevated by piety.
5. Lasting as life. Then it is something which, for intrinsic beauty and substantial worth, cannot be surpassed.
II THE SILENCE THAT MAY SAVE IT. There is a speech that saves it. Often the interposition of a few words of explanation, removing an offence which would have grown into seriousness, will save a rupture. Sometimes a kindly word of counsel or remonstrance to the imprudent or to the mistaken may have the same happy effect. But, at other times, silence will save it. We are often tempted, even strongly tempted, to say that which would come between two human hearts. To say what we know would only be to speak the truth; it would gratify the curiosity of those present; it would be a pleasant exercise of power or the use of an advantage we happen to possess. The words rise to our very lips. But no; it is not always our duty to say all that we know; it is often our duty to be silent. There are times when to "cover transgression" is an act of wisdom, of kindness, of generosity, of Christ-likeness. (see Joh_8:1-11) Let the fact remain untold; let the hearts that have been united remain bound together; seek and secure the permanence of "love.
III THE SPEECH THAT WILL SEPARATE IT. A whisperer, one that repeats a matter, does separate friends.
1. There is always some occasion for silence in every man"s life. No man is so correct in thought and speech that he could afford to have every utterance repeated to any one and every one. We all want the kindly curtain of silence to be drawn over some sentences that pass our lips.
2. There are always some thoughtless speakers men and women who will carry injurious reports from house to house, from heart to heart; there are some who are cruelly careless what things they promulgate; there are some who consciously and guiltily enlarge and misrepresent, who form the dangerous and deadly habit of exaggeration, of false colouring, and who end in systematic falsehood. Those who idly and foolishly report what is true are, indeed, less guilty than they who enlarge and pervert. But they are far from guiltless. We are bound to speak with sufficient caution to save ourselves from the charge of circulating evil and spreading sorrow. We are responsible to God not only for the carefully prepared speech, but also for the casual interjection; that is the meaning of our Lord in his familiar words. (Mat_12:36) It behoves us to remember that our brother"s reputation, usefulness, happiness, is in our charge, and one slight whisper may destroy it all. One breath of unkindness may start a long train of sad consequences which we have no power at all to stop. A very few unconsidered and unhappily uttered words may sever hearts that have been beating long in loving unison, may disunite lives that have been linked long in the bonds of happy love. C.
The Pulpit Commentary (1880–1919), ed. H.D.M. Spence-Jones & Joseph S. Exell — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
The Preacher's Complete Homiletical Commentary 1892 · Public Domain Pro_17:9. Repeateth a matter. Most expositors understand this repetition…
CRITICAL NOTES.—
Pro_17:9. Repeateth a matter. Most expositors understand this repetition to refer to a revival of a past wrong, but Miller translates “He who falls back into an act,” i.e., transgresses again after forgiveness.
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MAIN HOMILETICS OF Pro_17:9
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND HOW TO SEPARATE THEM
We have before noticed various ways in which love covers sin or transgression. (See Homiletics of chapter Pro_15:12, page 157.) This proverb sets forth—
I. That he who thus covers sin is a great benefactor of the human race. The great need of a fallen world is such a state of heart as will promote love among men. One of Christ’s last commands to his disciples was “Love one another as I have loved you” (Joh_16:12). And there is no more effectual way of promoting love than by freely forgiving an offence and at the same time endeavouring to turn the transgressor from the error of his way. A stream in winter may, by reason of the biting cold, be congealed into a rock-like solid mass, but when the summer sun shines upon it, it cannot long resist the influence, but melts and begins again to ripple and sparkle under its beams. So a sense of guilt and shame hardens the human heart, but a consciousness that the sin has been freely forgiven and forgotten melts it into contrition and love if it is not utterly dead to moral influences. This is the great power which binds sin-forgiven men and women to God—having been forgiven much they love much (Luk_7:47-50).
II. A man of opposite character is a curse to his race. Friendship is the greatest boon of human existence, and he whose words or deeds tend to break any such tie does his fellow-men a great wrong. There is no more effectual way of doing it than by a constant repetition of the faults of others, either by reminding the offender himself of his shortcomings or by speaking of them to a third person. Solomon may refer to either of these habits—both are bad, and show a disposition entirely opposed to that of Him who, when he forgave His ancient people, promised that He would “remember their sin no more” (Jer_31:34).
OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS
Seeketh love! A beautiful expression, much to be kept in mind! It shows a delight in the atmosphere of love—man’s highest elevation in communion with his God (1Jn_4:16). It implies not the mere exercise of love, where it is presented, but the searching and making opportunity for it. But how seldom do we rise to the high standard of this primary grace, exalted as it is pre-eminently above “the best gifts” (1Co_12:31; 1 Corinthians 13.); and illustrated and enforced by no less than the Divine example! (Eph_5:1-2.) Yet too often it sits at the door of our lips, instead of finding a home in our hearts; forgetting that the exhortation is not, that we should talk of love, but that we should “walk in it;” not stepping over it, crossing it, walking by the side, but “in it,” as our highway and course. One step of our feet is better than a hundred words of the tongue.—Bridges.
All unnecessary repetition even of real faults comes under the category of scandal, and is sinful and mischievous. You may fancy you are within the limit of blameworthiness, when you are telling no more than what is true: but, if you are telling even truth needlessly, for no good and laudable end, you are chargeable with the offence.—Wardlaw.
Alas! how many things are there to be suffered, how many things to be forgotten, bow many things, though seen, to be as it were unseen, that love may be preferred. He that covereth transgression warmeth affection, and he that seeketh the love of man shall be sure to find the love of God. The way to seek and find other things is by uncovering that which is hid; but the way to seek and find love is by covering the offence.—Jermin.
If one has been our enemy it has been for some trespass. The best way to abate the enmity is to cover up and smother over, and thus erase from memory our act against him. He that does this “seeks love.” “He who falls back into the wrong,” i.e., iterates or doubles over his offence, drives away everything. (See Critical Notes.) … Spiritually, a man is not to complain of the alienation of his Maker, if he wilfully retain his sin. If God has given us a special way for covering sin, and we postpone it, and go tumbling back into our acts, the strife is ours.—Miller.
There are two ways of making peace and reconciling differences; the one begins with amnesty, the other with a recital of injuries, combined with apologies and excuses. Now I remember that it was the opinion of a very wise man, and a great politician, that “he who negotiates a peace without recapitulating the grounds of difference rather deludes the minds of the parties, by representing the sweetness of concord, than reconciles them by equitable adjustment.” But Solomon, a wiser man than he, is of a contrary opinion, approving of amnesty, and forbidding a recapitulation of the past. For in it are these disadvantages: it is as the chafing of a sore; it creates the risk of a new quarrel (for the parties will never agree as to the proportions of injuries on either side); and, lastly, it brings it to a matter of apologies: whereas either party would rather be thought to have forgiven an injury than to have accepted an excuse.—Lord Bacon.
The Preacher's Complete Homiletical Commentary (gen. ed. Joseph S. Exell; Funk & Wagnalls, c. 1892) — public domain (pre-1929). A full-Bible homiletical/sermon-outline anthology covering 65 of 66 books (2 John is absent from the source module). Text from a community e-Sword module.
Paul E. Kretzmann 1924 · Public Domain v. 9. He that covereth a transgression, in a…
v. 9. He that covereth a transgression, in a kindly and charitable manner avoiding the spread of evil reports, seeketh love, exercising it in a proper manner; but he that repeateth a matter, referring to certain transgressions time and again, keeping the memory of them alive, causing people to point the finger of scorn at the transgressor, separateth very friends, for suspicion and ill will is bound to destroy friendship.
Paul E. Kretzmann, Popular Commentary of the Bible (1921–1924) — public domain. Text from a community e-Sword module.
unfoldingWord translationNotes 2017 · CC BY-SA 4.0 an offense
an offense
an action or word that has hurt him
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who repeats a matter
This refers to bringing up a past situation in which a friend was hurt or offended. AT: "who repeats a past offense" (See: Assumed Knowledge and Implicit Information)
alienates close friends
"causes people to stop being close friends" or "causes close friends to stop liking each other"
A rebuke goes deeper into a person ... than a hundred blows go into a fool
This compares how a rebuke effects a man of understanding to how a beating effects a fool. This speaks of the effect on these people as if it could be measured by the depth that it goes into them. AT: "A rebuke has more effect on a person ... than a hundred blows have on a fool" (See: Metaphor)
a person who has understanding
"a person who has good judgment." The word "understand" can be expressed as a verb. AT: "a person who understands" (See: Abstract Nouns)
a hundred blows go
"a beating of a hundred blows goes"
translationWords
love
rebuke
understand
fool
unfoldingWord translationNotes — © Distant Shores Media and the Door43 World Missions Community, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. Source: git.door43.org/Door43/en_tn.
Tyndale Open Study Notes 2022 · CC BY-SA 4.0 17:9 Maintaining a good relationship with another person means…
17:9 Maintaining a good relationship with another person means forgiving rather than dwelling on faults.
Tyndale Open Study Notes — © Tyndale Open Resources, licensed CC BY-SA 4.0. Text via the HelloAO Bible API.